I go back and forth on how I feel about contact. I certainly have contacted my T between sessions.

It never helped me though because I would read too much into his calling or not calling. I've emailed and faxed too. The last time I faxed he handled it very well. We went over the fax. He took the initiative. I loved that.

I am trying so hard to do the hardwork with no landing. He and I have talked about this over and over and I know his position on going more than once a week or calling etc.

He did take me once a month ago twice in one week which was cool. It helps me to have that occassional back up for the very hard sessions.

I think that is why two sessions ago I apologized to T and made sure he wasn't mad at me before I left.

I am afraid to be left hanging like I was one time after a very bad session ending. Long story short, I almost ended it the pain was so bad of him not returning my two calls.

I guess I'm realizing that I don't feel 100% safe with him and part of it is because of this. I need to respect his boundaries though and he doesn't want to encourage dependency.

Anyway, I think if I had to do over, I would have addressed this topic in the beginning of therapy. I had no idea what therapy was really about though two years ago.

I think this should be discussed by all clients to their T's and it should be outlined clearly to avoid inconsistencies and more hurt for us and our T's...