I personally would let him know that after that behavior the kids & I will be gone when he gets back & divorce papers will be served. I just would not tolerate that kind of treatment then him telling you your marriage is in a bad place.....no duh!!!! That is an understatement....& especially with his treatment of you & what he said & what he is doing going abroad.

I would take savings money & retain a really good lawyer who will know how to protect you from what is going on in your life. This would give your H a STRONG statement that you will NOT tolerate him doing this to you. If he agrees to counseling under the divorce proceedings & things can be worked out because he understood your message to him.....great.....otherwise you know in no uncertain terms what he is thinking & feeling & you might as well end the marriage. They will legally order his support & financially he will end up much worse off BUT that is the consequences of his horrible behaviors toward you.

No matter how good he has been in the past.....YOUR REALITY is NOW not the past & the NOW is what you need to deal with & NOT TOLERATE. You tolerate this & you are only giving him permission to continue treating you this way.

Yes, you will have to become independent.....but that could be good & bring out strengths inside of you that have been hidden & covered up.

If your H ever comes to his senses great otherwise you & your children are much better without him in your everyday lives.