Apparently I am starting off my day early as I woke up at 3:30 am and cannot seem to get back to sleep. I am going to try again, though. I went to bed at 10 which is early for me and could be the reason. I am happy to say I am continuing to feel grounded and safe with myself. I also feel pretty fine considering the hormones. So, this begs the question of wtf was this whole thing of SI and these meds and all. I will of course talk to my psychiatrist, but it doesn't seem like I will fit within a clear cut diagnosis based on this, and not sure if meds could help, or if I even want to try anything after these reactions and not feeling bad without them at the moment. I have also been considering therapy, but cannot think of anything specific I really need to work on or talk about. So maybe I will just follow up with my psychiatrist this next time, then go to as needed appointments if I feel like I am off again (I always get depressed in winter, so things could change). This has been a very surreal, down the rabbit hole kind of experience for me. I think this post is mostly me just thinking to myself because I am awake at odd hours, but thanks for reading!