McKell, could you make an outline for a "therapy handbook" and take it in with you next time and have her help you fill in the blanks? You could have different questions: can I call between sessions? Only in emergency situations? How long can phone calls be? Can I email you? etc. I do think they should spell out this stuff when you first start. Are you sure it doesn't address any of this on the consent form you signed the first day?
Recently, I started seeing a financial planner and in between our first and second meetings, I needed to send her some information. I wanted to email it to her. I did not have her email and it was not on her website. Only her secretary's email was provided. I did not want to email this confidential financial information and communication to her secretary. So I actually sent it all to her in a letter. At our next meeting, I asked her how she preferred to be contacted, by phone, email, snail mail, direct meetings only, etc., and I mentioned I noticed she had not provided an email. I was so proud of myself for just asking her these questions directly! (Now, sunny, was that so hard? Why is it so much harder with a T?) She answered all my questions and now I am very clear on how I can contact her. It's wonderful to have it all spelled out.
My daughter's T had on her consent form that calls can be made to her answering machine and she will return the call within a day. There is a fee for phone conversations over 10 minutes. I thought this spelled it out nicely. She does not do email.
I do agree that if T's spend substantial time on us out of session, they should be compensated. But their policy should be clear.
My own T had on his consent form that a message could be phoned in to his answering machine and he would return your call. If it was an emergency, you should call the crisis center, etc. It says that on his phone message too. My T is really bad with the phone. The first time I called him to see if he was available to see me as a possible client, I waited over a week but he never returned the call. I figured OK, he has enough clients, move on. But my sister pushed me to call him again, since she had heard he was so good, and do a little name-dropping, which I did, and he called back within a day that time. After that, I've only called a few times to change appointments, and it is not uncommon he does not return my call for a few days. And he gave me no email. He has told me not to depend on the phone as he doesn't check messages often. Also, in session a few times, he has told me he will call me later that week with certain information or news, and he doesn't. I think he forgets he says that. So I have come to realize my T sucks when it comes to the phone. I now have his cell phone number, but it is not really for use. One time, I was in a really bad spot and emailed my lawyer with the subject heading, "help." She responded immediately and then T called me up. My L had told him I needed his help and to call me, so he did. He wanted to know why I hadn't called him? It just never occurred to me to do that. What good does it do when you are needing help to leave a message on someone's voicemail that they don't return for 3 days?
I didn't tell him that, but sheeesh, duh! So he called me that day and the following day when I was so needy and provided some phone support. It was nice. But I would never initiate that kind of thing.
As our relationship changed/expanded, he gave me his email. Sometimes he emails me out of the blue. It is nice. Just brief notes, but I love them. He uses lots of smileys.
Sometimes I email him, usually about switching appointment times, but I am always brief. I don't want to take up his time or be a burden. One time I did email him a longish email with substantive concerns. I wondered what the response would be, as I had never done that before. I wondered if that was crossing his boundaries. He did not respond to that email or ever refer to it in session. So I got my answer--he does not do email therapy, keep the messages short, don't step across the line! I really try to respect his boundaries.
One time I did ask for a second session in a week. I really needed it to deal with a specific issue. He told me that wouldn't be possible as he was all booked up the rest of the week. I have never asked again. I interpreted that to mean he does not do 2 sessions a week.
That's my saga with the out of session contact. I am not demanding, and he doesn't offer to provide what he cannot. I am respectful of his boundaries.