Would you like to give my friend a shot?
You should have jumped out of the car.
Phone call. Would you like to be my girl?
So many shades of grey.
He wasn't a bad guy.
I was self-destructive.
This incident wasn't the reason
I had to go into hospital.
My self- destruction put
Me in that vulnerable position,
And eventually I had
A full nervous breakdown
Because of the onset
Of the disorder. And
In an effort to self-medicate
I wasn't helping matters.
The disorder clouded,
My judgement. So add
Copious amounts of alcohol,
A feeling of no self- worth
That would manifest
As suicidal ideation,
Into the fold - poof.
Time to get help.
Was it the untreated disorder
That caused my self destruction?
Or my self destruction that
Brought about the disorder?