((TishaBuv)),

I can relate to the frustration you express. Unfortunately, you have been expected to play a role and your mother has proven she is only capable of interacting in the role she learned how to play her entire life. The reality is that no matter what you do or say, you are going to get the same from her and you have to finally realize she is incapable of changing or even recognizing her faults. YES, your mother is going to make statements to you that can be disrespectful and controlling, then as you have shared she will act like this negative exchange never happened. You have to come to a realization that you are not going to change that about her. Your mother basically plays the same tape in her head and at 83 years old that's really not going to change, it's just too automatic at this point in her brain.

Think of it this way, like you have a Teddy Ruxbin that comes with certain tapes that you can play and these tapes NEVER change no matter how you interact with this toy bear. You can put him away for YEARS and then one day get him out and play with him and sure enough, he will still only be able to interact with you based on the tapes you put in him that cause him to say the same things no matter what "you" say to him.