the last time I self harmed was with punching myself on the arm the first day after I lowered the dose, and not at all since then. I had much worse self harm and suicidal urges than just that while on the lamotrigine, but only ever punched myself. My violent thoughts towards myself are almost completely gone, more of a random passing thought in the back of my mind that I hardly notice and does not seem at all like something rational or that I would act on. I am usually so much worse around my period in terms of my mood, and was especially when I was on lexapro and lamotrigine, and so it seems odd that I practically have no suicidal or self harm issues anymore, and feel relaxed, even a couple days before I start my period.