The demonic teddy bear is a great, helpful image. You pull its string and it says, “you’re stupid”, “you’re bad” no matter what you do.

I’m not calling my mother yet. I really don’t want to play these games. I have no reason to talk to her. It serves me no purpose. I call because I try to show caring for her. But when she attacks and triggers me, it only causes me harm. Taking care of myself, putting myself first for my mental health is what I want to do now for ME.

I’ve gotten into a nice routine at home, my son and I. Peace, love, tranquility. I enjoy gardening, swimming. I’ve been reading a novel. I’ve been cleaning and organizing. I have a couple of projects to do.

I’m still feeling ok.