Tisha, is ok to choose not to engage with your mother. It sounds like you got into a habit with that and you have been coming to the realization that engaging with your mother ends up with you feeling like you did something wrong. Well, your mother is in the habit of pointing out what she considers "failures" and she always believes she is right and knows better which is why she also chooses to "forget" any kind of objections you may express to her where she ended up condescending towards you instead of considering "your" feelings. That is pretty much how you describe your interactions with her when I read them.