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But, while I am actively telling myself to stay calm and not react, I end up criticizing her but that only makes her get vicious. Why do I have such a hard time understanding that?
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You "do" understand that Tisha, but you have not always figured out how to "change" your own tape "before" you get caught up in it. You know that saying, "Old habits die hard"? Well, there is a lot of truth to it for "everyone".
