If your job is making you feel like you don't want to live then it's time to make a change. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to realise that something is wrong and needs changing. There will be a job out there that you will like and enjoy. Time to start looking for what you really want...
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein