As some of you know, I am on disability for mental health and do not work. However, I am a very bright person who could definitely work! I want to work and that is my goal. A lot of it is anxiety and fear. And ambivalence. I experience a lot of ambivalence about directions I could go with career, and interest. I will not give up on my goal of work and supporting myself though. Not until the day I bite the dust, Lol.

This thread is meant for me as a way to work out my thoughts and feelings, as a diary to look back on and document. If anyone wants to come in a give advice or support I'm open to that too. I'm also open to suggestion here. I do not completely know what I'm doing, and an outside perspective could help.

I have a 3 month plan, from now until December 1st: I will explore my interests (volunteer in subjects that interest me, conduct informational interviews, take class(es)), mingle with my fears (and talk about them revolving around work with my t), face my ambivalence (even if that means just picking a direction and living with the uncertainty and anxiety of coming off the fence), I will focus on cultivating discipline too.

Ok I guess thats it for now. It's also important that I take care of myself. I cannot always obsess about this. It's not healthy. But I think daily goals are good.

I have a tentative format: "Today, how did I...explore my job interests? make a commitment and stick with it? face my fears? face my ambivalence? Work on my self esteem and lift myself up? lift others up? Career inspiration (information I have found online and found helpful)."

See you tomorrow.