I would normally do this in the check in thread but it’s been closed and I’ve had a super stressful day.

I kept my son home from camp because he’s had a mysterious skin condition for a few weeks now. Open sores that turn to dry red rashes instead of healing. So we went to the dr and he has impetigo and ringworm. Ok. I will get his cream and antibiotics and hopefully it will clear up soon. We had to wait over an hour to see the dr and I get very impatient with waiting so that was no good.

But I’ve just had such a long tough day with my son. He was acting like a little a-hole all day long. Ever since my boyfriend opened my eyes to his disrespect and disobedience I have been stricter with him. I was super strict today and it was so stressful. He was just pushing back at me at every turn. I wanted to give up and just let him do whatever he wanted but I’ve done that for far too long. I don’t want him to grow up with no respect for authority. It’s so hard with him though. He will likely be dx’ed with ADHD in the future (right now he doesn’t have any problems in school so it’s not on the table) but even if he’s not he is so high energy that he just drains me dry.

I feel like such a failure of a parent. How did I let it get like this? To the point where he never ever listens on the first try, I have to repeat myself four or five times and end up yelling at him before he listens? How did I let him talk back to me? I just feel like I messed up somewhere. I guess honestly it’s normal kid development to start pushing boundaries as they age but it’s so discouraging.

I know this is stupid but I’m afraid that if I don’t get a handle on him my boyfriend will break up with me because of our different parenting styles. And honestly if he does then good riddance, right? I shouldn’t let someone else tell me how to raise my child. But I also don’t want my son to be a disrespectful little **** when he gets older. And I love my boyfriend. But I won’t choose him over my son.

It was just a hard day in the parenting world. Another day where I’m cursing my husband for leaving me alone to deal with all this. That a-hole.

This is not helped by the fact that I have been completely unmotivated to do anything at all except lie on the couch for days now. Low level depression? Perhaps. I’m worried that I won’t actually get the job I’ve ostensibly been hired for. I’ve been put on restrictions by my spine dr. The PA assured me that wouldn’t affect my ability to work but I’m not so sure.

I need money. My insurance refused to cover my ambulance transport to the psych hospital back in April, citing it as a “non emergency” ride. So that was $500. Now I’ve gotten a bill for all the physical therapy for my back to the tune of $624. I can’t pay it up front. I’ll have to negotiate a payment plan and I suck at payment plans.

Sigh...thanks for listening to me. Just a tough day today. It will get better.