Other specific dissociative disorder is meant to be everything dissociative that is not covered under the other headlines. But in reality it is usually one of those, but only by partial diagnosis they aim for, plus added on symptoms that do not fit under a headline.
Also here where I live they rarely diagnose multiple personality disorder (yes, we still use that name), because it is controversial and instead they diagnose with other specific dissociative disorder.
And very common to use this diagnosis to describe something that looks just a little like multiple personalities, but is different from it in several aspects.
I don't have anything specifying what type of dissociation they think it is. But then again this paper is just meant to be a valid number for the employment services. It is not really meant for me to read at all because over here they don't tell people what they are diagnosed with.
I finished therapy long ago and I cannot say it gave me much answers. I think they got tired of me because I just did the homework but did not change inside. I did what was asked of me and I don't understand what else I could have done. Also I got weird comments, of the sort that I don't remember things from when I was little, and I remember everything. It is like they got mad that I did not fit in how they thought I should be.
I do question the diagnosis of dissociation because it seems so severe and many people suffer with theirs. I cannot say I suffered. I don't have parts like some people, I just have two different ego states, and I think one is winning out because I haven't been like the other in ages. Also I have no sensation I share a mind with others, my so called parts if it is what they are, are projected into reality and they live in the same world as I do. Sometimes I wonder why they don't think I am schizophrenic but they are somehow sure I am not.
The others living around me are Skygge who is a wolf, he is now the number one invisible friend, and Odd and Jostein who are slipping more into the background.
My therapist once asked me if it is possible to talk to my invisible friends but of course it is impossible. They only exist for me. Jostein was created when I was very little and very lonely because my mum worked long hours and then went to the pub while I was inside in the attic room. I don't think I can compare an invisible playmate with other people's parts that had a purpose of taking abuse. My situation was much more benign.
Also if someone feels I just made these people up, yes I guess in a way I did but not consciously and also I cannot delete them.
I still lead the same type of life as before, it dawned on me they don't have the right to change me. They tried to teach me like a dog to function superficially in social contexts. A lot of homework in therapy was aimed at learning to bond with others and empathise but they were happy if I just pretended. I still don't know why I need to change.
I don't feel I am ill. Maybe one day it would be nice to have lasting friends but right now I am happy with what I have. I'm quite disconnected from humankind and I think I need to decide for myself if that is an illness that needs to be fixed.
Sorry for rambling.
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