Saw the pdoc and my PCP today...Pdoc does not seem super versed in EDs, or if he is, he hides it well. He tells me to eat a banana before running and drink a protein shake afterwards. Then he tells me to come back in a week. Don't know how exactly to read that. He is a new pdoc (old one retiring), and I've only been seeing him since late March.

Not sure, but the PCP may contact him (I have signed consents for the both of them). IDK, I weighed less on the PCP's scale than mine at home, which made all the ED-thoughts happy. Logically, I know this weight is really bad and too low, but the ED-side thinks it's great. I've seen my PCP 14 years, so she didn't beat too much around the bush about it because she knows I know what I need to do to get better. I just have to do it. She ordered blood tests, especially since the last blood results they have were taken shortly after my ulcer surgery, and some of the tests were abnormal, but in a range to be expected that amount of time after an ulcer surgery. I didn't have to fast for the bloodwork, so I got it done since the lab is right near the doctor's office (luckily, managed not to faint this time). It's always 50/50 with blood draws, no matter the state of my ED.

Still feeling like a lazy lump for barely exercising today, even if I was running around most of the day taking care of errands and doing chores. I'm so messed up. I had rocky road ice cream for lunch because I needed to make room in the freezer after grocery shopping and the quart was nearly empty. Also, it was nearly 2 PM, and I hadn't had anything to eat other than a small nonfat mocha in the early morning. Not sure what is up with me and the chocolate. I did eat a normal dinner at least. I need to do better with the eating tomorrow, but on the plus side, I didn't overexercise.

Pdoc mentioned therapy. I'm not crazy about it. I have never connected with a therapist; I must have tried at least a dozen over the years. Some were admittedly better than others, but I never clicked with a single one. Tried ED group therapy once and that turned me competitive with all the others there, not helping at all.

I'm so tired of this stress and the not knowing what we'll do now that we are looking at probably losing our house, having to get rid of a lot of our things. And my daughter is not easy to parent with all her sensory issues. Sigh. It's just a tough time for me.