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MissCharlotte said:
...I think we're missing the critical component that is the alliance--Therapist and patient as partners in healing the fractured self.

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An alliance... a collaborative effort between two people. This is what I am struggling with. Professionally I work very well in collaboration with others, personally I don't do as well.

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It is in the working through, experiencing this pain, feeling like you are bleeding all over and then reconstituting to the adult self--that true healing takes place. But this can only be done WITH T, withing the structure and framework of the therapeutic alliance. It doesn't happen alone or in a vacuum. This is huge for me because I had become self reliant in a very big way, and have struggled with dependence.

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I don't do this. I go to therapy, in passive/defensive recorder mode. Then I go home play the recording over and over, experience the pain, bleeding, and reconstructing alone but safe.

I'm cheating myself of the sharing experience and I'm cheating my T of witnessing my progress. She probably feels like she is talking to the wall sometimes.

I'm the B student in the back of the classroom who is listening to every word spoken but refuses to make eye contact. Who only engages and contributes to the class but only when required. As the instructor he/she frustrates the hell out of you because you know they are very interested and if they would just get more involved, interact with the class and content, they could easily be an A student.