Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Personally I’d stop long psychological conversations with her on the phone as it seems to always result in fights and drama.
Maybe your sister keep phone conversations to a minimum not because she is shallow (?) but because she doesn’t want to be sucked in toxic drama. Or maybe she simply doesn’t have the time for this. Most busy people don’t even have the time for long phone conversations.
My dad is quite toxic and if I engaged in these long conversations with him discussing other relatives or some other drama, we’d fight all the time. I avoid that. You don’t have to neglect your elderly mother of course. Do go visit, brung her things, help her out but you don’t need to get sucked into drama every time.
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Yes, of course you are right, but that is the family dynamic and a very hard habit to break.
Shallow was an insulting word. I’m not trying to be insulting to my sister. I’m not sure of the correct word for the opposite of a deep conversation. It’s hard to explain the relationship between my mom, us daughters, the grandmother and her generation, and the children.
It’s also my perception of this whole dynamic and how it makes me feel. Could I be all wrong and off the mark on it?
Even this whole calling my mother thing is a game of control. I haven’t called her since the fight. I really don’t want to call her. I have nothing to say to her. She wants me to call her to show my love. It’s a whole manipulation game.
I think it’s proper to call one’s mother every few days, give her only the good news, and not engage in negative drama talk...so that’s what I’ll try to do.