You had an extremely emotional, exausting time with your H. Don't forget that you had a lot of very stressful build up to the visit and your resources have been pretty much drained. You are what's called "running on empty". I don't think it is any surprise that you have the flu now. You didn't have any reserves and that "bug" saw you coming. Between the emotional & physical exhaustion, I would be surprised if you didn't feel depressed and alone.

I know this doesn't answer any of your questions or make it go away. But, I think you need to rest and give your physical & emotional self some permission to just let it all goooooooo....for a few days.

When you start feeling stronger, you will have a clearer head & perspective on everything. Meanwhile, we're here, we're listening. Give a yell when you need us and we'll keep checking on you.