It sounds like you keep resenting whatever your mother failed to do as a mother. If your mother is sensitive to criticism then she is reflecting her own low self esteem challenge. It sounds like your mother looks for validation a lot. Often a person will do that in ways that can feel "intrusive" and immature and even selfish. Well, given your mother's age and generation she will be following a lot of the social messages of her generation, it's a tape that she ended up being encouraged to develop.

At least your mother is still engaging and "trying" and has managed to participate with some of the social methods of today. My mother can't do that, my mother has dementia and can't even remember what she did or said 10 minutes ago never mind yesterday. My father is even worse, he doesn't even know who I am. I am envious of you, I can't even talk to my mother like you can.