I would never walk away from my daughter, however, I do not want her to feel that I am. I have decided to not completely detach myself from my daughter for that period of time.

By "detach" I specifically mean: detach yourself from any perceived pain in order to do what works to assist your daughter and grandchild. Another way to say this, perhaps, is you be the adult in the situation, remain emotionally neutral, and do not identify with her attacks - just as you would not have personalized a temper tantrum when your daughter was a preschooler. So, don't physically detach; emotionally detach.

I still need to be able to function so I can help her. I have been allowing myself to get too emotionally enmeshed in this situation.

That's great! That's what I mean by "detach".

I think I will go to her mothers house where she is living to just see how she is doing. Maybe I can talk with her. Last night she got me dinner which is the first time she has ever done this.

Lately I have been thinking about more of her situation. She is in a terrible place right now. I guess sometimes all I can do is just let her know I am there for her.

Yes, and yes.

I am just used to having her lash out at me over the last couple years saying very hurtful things. There is no “Health and Human Resiurces Agency” in Arizona.


Yes, there is. Just referred to by a slightly different names. I am a state mental health board member, so am pretty familiar with these types of agencies. The Arizona programs might not be as wrap-around as California's are, but there's plenty of assistance available, and resources that lead from one to another once you get the ball rolling:

Human Services | Official website of the City of Tucson
Tucson Welfare - Tucson AZ Welfare Information

I need resources to help me to help her. So I think I will go to my mental health agency to see if they can refer me to some such place here in Tucson. I also have found or two possible places that list themselves as crisis intervention services. One also can provide social services.

Excellent!