My therapist and I touched on this periodically over the course of a few sessions about a year ago. I was really trying to figure it out, why it worked.

Having a compassionate witness who can be there while I cry or speak of my grief and self-doubt and loneliness and anger, all the ugly stuff, but who isn't going to go home burdened by my grief, has been powerfully healing for me.

My therapist understands abuse dynamics and recovery and wasn't shocked by anything I told her. She's able to offer information and guidance and reassurance about what's normal or usual, and answer many of my questions.

If I were to say or do something completely unsafe or uncharacteristic or unhealthy, she'd probably speak up, but mostly she helps me to consider all of the angles of whatever I am tackling, gives me a platform to talk through what I'm facing without having an investment in my decisions.

I think what all of those have in common is that the distance relieves me of the burden of having to navigate how she feels about what I say. It just occurred to me that I have no idea what she'd do in my shoes (beyond a best guess based on what I do know of her), or what she thinks is best for me beyond letting go of my fears for the future.