Hello Mr: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I'm sorry you find yourself to be struggling with this dilemma. You didn't mention how old you are. I presume perhaps in your late 40's or 50's? I'm 70! My wife & I have been married for 39 years. (Her accomplishment, not mine.) We're both retired now. My wife has a few casual friends. But I lead an almost thoroughly solitary life at this point. And, like you, when my wife is out, I don't look forward to her coming home because I really just prefer to be alone. I have no plans to do it... but I often fantisize about living completely & totally alone. (Perhaps if I actually did it I wouldn't like it. But the fantasy sure is alluring.)

You asked if this is normal. I can't say if it's normal since I basically don't know anybody. I would suspect, though, that it may be tied somewhat to depression plus that old bug-a-boo the mid-life crisis. Is it something temporary that will go away? I don't know. I've felt the way I feel for a long time. So it has never gone away for me. I've simply chosen not to act on it. I suspect this is something that varies from person to person.

Should you fight it for the sake of your kids? Well... my wife & I don't have kids. So I can't speak to that from personal experience. However my inclination would be to say that whatever you decide to do should be based on what you & your wife (hopefully) decide is best for the two of you. Your kids are both away & in college. And even though you & your wife separating would likely affect them my personal feeling is, at this point, what you & your wife do is between the two of you & should be based on what the two of you agree to not what you presume your kids might prefer. I think this all might be something that would be worth talking through at some length with a mental health therapist. It's a complex situation.

Here are links to a selection of articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on related topics that may be of interest:

Are You Ready For Divorce? 8 Questions You Should Answer

The Differences in Divorce for Men and Women

When One Spouse Wants Out of the Marriage But the Other Doesn't

The Psychological Impact of Divorce on Adult Children

The Male Midlife Crisis

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-m...actical-guide/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/midlife...-and-families/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/giving-...second-chance/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/revivin...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-thi...le-depression/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/tms/2...-is-different/

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/depression-quiz/

My best wishes to you & your family...