Today is really hard . I'm exhausted . My anxiety levels are through the roof. I hope I can do this . It's harder than I thought it would be.
Does anyone else feel ashamed to be them ? I feel full of shame just for being myself .
I blame myself for everything even having mh.
Nobody actually likes me in real life . Ok maybe a couple of family members but I don't think they like who I am - i.e lazy and useless and underachiever , they just care for me purely because I am family .
Even strangers don't like me . I can sense it from them .
I'm starting to have doubts if I can do this or not - to be strong and fight and live . I want to but I'm scared of the dissapiontment if I fail to improve my life and how I feel .
I had a feeling this would happen , that the thought of positivity and hope was not going to last long.
I just want to go home now and cry myself to sleep