Thank you, Seesaw. I don’t think we’ve ever even disagreed, maybe just have a slightly different take on things. I’m glad you touched on this for me.

I am so disgusted to see the anger and meanness come out of me, directed at my husband. My mother is like that to everybody. She never had any remorse about it. I’ve always despised her for it and swore I’d never be like her. So it kills me to see it happened to me. Aside from the fact the anger manifests itself into crying hysterically, drugging myself with enough Benadryl to knock myself out for a couple hours, and ruining my day plus my family’s, I hate that I am my mother coming out of my mouth! It magnifies my anger toward myself and that is what brought out the Borderline traits.

So, yes, I did myself and my family a favor and divorced. We all deserve peace. I have been doing very well for the past 6 months now that he’s out. That says it all, right?

As for his part in this: yes, he did ignore my very reasonable, very well communicated needs. Maybe he was immature and didn’t know how to be intimate in the adult way I wanted. Maybe he was a Jekyll and Hyde. Maybe he was slightly on spectrum. Probably all of these.

Maybe I found fault with him to push him away in hopes he’d give me what I wanted, proving his love to me, because I truly do have Borderline traits.

No one has analyzed this more than me! OCD maybe?

Yes, he did steal money and then lied about it. I finally got him to admit it. He says he doesn’t want this divorce. I told him I’d be open to a post-nup and giving more time to working on this relationship. I told him to bring the money back and make it right. But he hasn’t. He’s full of crap.

I have a long montage of traumatic meltdowns from him that gives me flashbacks. I am terrified I am damaged goods and can never have another intimate relationship.

All of you on this site have helped me greatly. I did not have good experiences with therapists.

Thank you for supporting me in not taking all of the blame on myself.

The other day, I said to him how I have been doing fine since we split up and he rolled his eyes and mimicked me while I said it!!! It was like he was tired of hearing me say it. To me, that is not a man who loves me. That’s a man who selfishly wants the marriage and doesn’t give a crap about me. That did it for me. He’s done.