I am a 36 year old happily married mother of two young children who works full time as a successful office manager (doubled my salary a year and half ago) I attend college part-time and have been on the dean's list every grading period. I have smoked pot for the past 23 years. I experienced a severe panic attack about 2 years ago and that is what started my journey to psychotherapy and contemplating having to give up marijuana. I can't help it but I really like it. I like the buzz, the smell and the taste. The reason I know I should quit is because I am afraid of cancer (I also smoke cigarettes and have for 20 years) I am afraid that my eight year old will tell some authority figure I smoke it, even though she is extremely smart and beautiful and in no way neglected or abused, and I am told by my therapist that it is bad. Then of course there was the panic, but I started taking Lexapro which calmed all my fears and made me feel great so I could smoke again. I hit the pipe 2 x in morning and 2 x at night. I should also ad that I wake up at 5 am 5 days a week and work out which I have done faithfully for 13 years. So for all intensive purposes I have a great life, it's just that I have this habit that I feel extremely guilty about. Is what I am doing that bad??? What are my cancer risks??? Is it normal to be afraid of the person that you will be without the drug??? I dabbled in other drugs throughout my life but none have stuck in the last ten years. I only drink socially and hate hang overs. Anyone run into people like me in treatment???? What's your thoughts???