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Originally Posted by JustWondering51
I’ve been questioning some things for a while. Some habits or things that other people don’t consider normal. I don’t want to alert my family to this before I make sure of what is happening. I don’t know if what I have is DID or Borderline Personality Disorder or if I’m normal and just anxious or something... but here it is. Recently I’ve been forgetting doing a lot of things. Stuff that I shouldn’t have forgotten doing or saying. The only reason I know this is happening is my family will tell me or remind me of it. What kind of a person drowns a black widow while watching and doesn’t remember? Who insults their siblings and can’t recall? Recently I’ve been brushing it off as a shot memory and who knows maybe it is. I would still call it a shot memory except for my problems controlling my actions when I’m angry. It’s like I’m retreating into myself while my body is numbly moving. That’s the best way I can explain it. I honestly can’t or at least haven’t been able to control myself yet when I’m in that “numb” phase. No one has been able to explain that to me yet. Other than emotional instability and memory loss, I have trouble separating reality and imagination. It sounds rediculous but I have to almost “extract” my mind from a book or movie and even after I do, I sometimes find myself forgetting that the other world doesn’t exist. I also find myself unable to focus at random times like when a friend is talking, eating, even playing sports. You name it and I’ve probably spaced out once or twice doing it. Is this DID or am I paranoid? At this point I’m not sure.
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the first thing is to take a moment to breath and relax.
the second thing is on me I would like to point out that at the bottom of every page is a disclaimer, I do this any time I notice there is someone new here. The disclaimer says....
"The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here."
to me this means there is no one here that will be able to tell you what this is in you. only your own doctors can diagnose what your problems are.
what I can tell you is that DID is not about things like drowning spiders and parents having to remind a person to do things and not being able to control ones behaviors, or getting so engrossed in a book that you cant stop reading it.
The going numb well that can be just about any normal, medical or mental problem out there.
you sound like you may be a teen ager so Im going to try and break this down a bit for you....
DID is one of many mental disorders listed in a group called dissociation disorders. its in this group because it shares many symptoms / problems with the other disorders in this group. The main one is dissociation.
here in america (your profile says you live in Pennsylvania) the new definition for dissociation is that its a ........normal........response to a trigger. A trigger is anything positive or negative that causes a problem in a persons life.
lets take this out of that word for a minute... you know how if someone says something you dont like that makes you automatically feel angry?
Dissociation is like that.... something happens in your normal life to make you feel your dissociation symptoms.
what makes dissociation one of the disorders is how severe the problem is and what is causing the problem, and what the problem is.
example (using one of yours...
I hate spiders.(normal reaction for thousands of people)
they scare me. (normal reaction for thousands maybe millions of people )
I was bitten by one (normal Traumatic event),
Take time to Kill that son of a gun (normal reaction for thousands of people)
now lets turn this into a dissociative event the severity that you are asking about.....
got bit by a spider so now every time I see any spiders I go numb, space out disconnected, lose track of time and not remember anything that went on, not even drowning, swatting, screaming at any spiders, or what have you. everything is a total blank as if it never happened at all and I go on with my life as if everything is hunky dory.
why cant I remember that event... because an" alternate personality" took control and dealt with the situation. the memory of the traumatic event is not forgotten forever. its just stored in my brain in a different way and place. its kind of like packing something in a box and shoving into the back of a closet and 30 years down the road something happens, maybe your moving out of your home and suddenly you find that box again look inside the box and there is your favorite thing again. but its a mental storage problem.
An alternate personality isnt like a ghost or spirit or being possessed by invisible beings and isnt an invisible friend. Its not something that is created just because you are bored, or have no friends or dont want to get into trouble with parents. theres actually a whole lot physical and mental stuff
that is what an alternate personality is, how its created, and well lots of stuff that is very technical and I wouldnt be able to explain here, but if you have a therapist or psychiatrist they can give you some tests that will tell them and you if you have alternate personalities, what kind, and what your mental disorders are, if you have any.
please be careful trying to diagnose yourself. what you find on the internet, books and movies does not accurately tell someone what mental disorders are because they dont have all the new updates that doctors, therapists, psychiatrists get every few months or so of all kinds of changes.