I think I read somewhere that therapists aim for “optimal frustration”. They aren’t supposed to fully meet our needs but if they are too off-putting then a patient will leave. It’s the carrot on the stick.

I am guilty of meeting some needs via therapy and not in real life. But I am improving and moving towards that goal. I personally think it is cruel for a therapist to be too withholding and maybe not good in the long run to be too indulgent.