I've been feeling crappy for the past six months, but in the last couple of weeks things have gotten much worse. I can hardly get out of bed (or stay out of bed, if I've gotten up) for work in the morning, it takes my husband yanking the covers off me and poking me and finally I'll move. Then this morning before I started actually showering I just laid down in the tub for a few minutes with the water running. I called in sick to work yesterday bc I was feeling so low (not self-harm or anything, but just *down*). I made it in to work this morning, but my brain was so foggy I left around lunchtime and told my boss I'd rest during lunch and get back online in the afternoon. I barely got any work done at home (barely got anything done at work either). I know I have to work on my attendance, but every day feels like a struggle.
On a positive note, I am meeting with a new T on Friday night (broke up with my last one because when I was describing obsessive thoughts about quitting my job and going back to school, she told me to "follow my dreams and listen to my heart!" - not the kind of advice a bipolar person with impulse control problems needs!!), and have my check-in with my pdoc on Saturday. So I can be honest with both of them about how sh***y I have been doing. If I can just make it through Thursday and Friday of work this week I will call it a success.