I just wanted someone to say they would miss me if I was gone. Instead of giving any positive affirmations whatsoever, it turned into an argument, and he said he's "done for now", whatever that means. He left the personal chat server I have (I don't know why, we never talk on it) and no doubt he would block me outright if it didn't mean the program removed the person you block. I'm supposed to take the rest of the time that he's on medication (until the 26th/27th) to "meditate" and "take that time" for myself. Sure, because that's going to go well. Me thinking is what gets me into these traps in the first place.

I did it to myself I guess by asking him for comfort while he's high, but I so badly needed someone to say they'd miss me... Why is that so hard anyways? I don't understand. If he would miss me, why can't he say it? Why does he have to beat around the bush and make me feel worse because I sometimes feel like no one wants me around?