I think you present your story in such a way as to discredit the possibility of such a "wild theory." You want the people on this board to condemn your therapist and tell you what you want to hear. I don't have any problem with it, but I'm not playing. I've read your other threads and there is "evidence" you don't specify here that makes this not such a wild theory even though you may have no specific memories even though I'm not sure that's the case.

I have no dog in this fight about what the truth of your experience is, but as a CSA survivor, I think it's worth considering and continuing to explore such a theory (not fact). I think that things as they stand with you now are really painful, a tough way to live not understanding what to make of what you do feel and desire in the moment. I do understand how difficult it is to accept CSA and how much easier it is to bury your head in the sand and deny it. I also think it's possible that you weren't. I can't possibly know what's true for you but I don't think you've engaged seriously with the possibility either here on this board or likely in your own therapy.

Maybe it's my own stuff that is driving this; I wouldn't deny that possibility. I'm sorry if this isn't helpful to you. But I spent 7 years in a support group with a woman who was sexually abused by her mother, and someone who used to post here (maybe more than one person, likely) was also. It happens and it's horrible but it's not a life sentence to suffering.

You may feel free to have the last word because I'm not interested in going around and around with you; it's not productive for me and I'm just tired of it. I'm staying out of your threads in the future.