Last week, my wife asked me to leave our apartment 'to do some hard thinking' about my problem(s), our marriage situation, and what I want. (I'll get to the background in a minute.) I called my family, who advised me not to leave the apartment 'if any way possible' and make a plea for couple's counseling first. She said it 'wasn't possible' right now, and "You need to go." So, I agreed to go and allow some space for reflection/healing and am staying with my mother, out of state.

Situation/question:
Currently, we have an arrangement to talk over the phone once per week (at a set time that should work well for both of us). Beyond that, I don't know what to do or even say when I call her, let alone how to proceed from here. So I need some solid advice.

Background:
I am in my late-40s and have been un- and under-employed for the last 6 years, and had a pervasive sense of hopelessness on the job front. Things got so bad for me that often felt 'why bother applying' (I'm too long out-of-work, I can't ask the wages I used to earn, I'm too old/rusty/unskilled, etc.) and was preoccupied at blaming the state of the world for 'having no future'. Through all of this, however, I have been caring and affectionate to my wife, though admittedly I began hiding/glossing over the aspects of myself/my situation that I was ashamed of and often felt paralyzed by. Recently, I began receiving online career/resume coaching which had been helping to restore some confidence (and had the first telephone interview in two years just last month). Because of the precariousness of our financial situation, we recently moved from where we met and married, out of the city to another city we barely knew, but which would (possibly) give us a fighting chance to turn things around.

She, also late 40s, is experiencing daily panic attacks and intense anxiety for which she's started on antidepressants and is receiving CBT therapy. She regrets leaving our old place and blames me for 'making her' sick by not being a good provider for our family.

I think that I need to 1) relieve my depression symptoms and rebuild my self-esteem, 2) get to work and have a real income, 3) do what I can to allow my wife to see when I have become more trustworthy/reliable. I've already begun again on steps #1 and #2.
Thanks for reading.