Wow...that is just awful. My mom died at an early age of a terminal illness. It was just days before Christmas and the doctor said 3 weeks. There is not easy way through this. It's an imperceptible change at first but things will get less raw and intense.Just try and hold onto although you won't feel it for a bit your brain and your body are slowly healing. It's just hard to think that could happen or that you will ever feel better, but you will. It's a process. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Others who have lost a parent can relate, but it is still an individual grieving process. Be gentle with yourself. Keep posting. There is support here.