LT, I have actually started to like your T's approach more since he started to soften a bit with you. I can see why you're sticking with him. But one thing that really struck me about your most recent In Session post is when he told you that it's important to tell you what he thinks and feels about the things that you share, and then he immediately followed that up by saying that he thinks it's important for you to listen to and trust your internal voice first. Except he's just sharing his voice/opinion, not asking about yours.

It seems clear at this point that he knows you don't pose a safety risk to him (in terms of stalking or having delusions about the relationship, etc). Having established that, I think it's so odd that he's not exploring what your attachment behaviors mean to you and what they mean about how you feel about yourself. That's the paydirt he is kicking aside. I do similar things like look at my T's picture, and I have talked about why and what it means to me several times. I would NEVER tell a non-therapist about doing that kind of thing. I'm not sure I would even feel the urge to do it with a non-therapist. But one point of therapy can be to talk about yourself and your inner process and how you feel about human connections. If he is taking the perspective of a friend or your husband or some other person in your life, he seems to be completely missing the point that his role is to be your therapist.

Somewhat relatedly, the percentage thing seems really unhelpful. 5% bothered and 95% what? Thrilled? Unbothered? If he says something is 100% okay, does that guarantee that everybody else in your life will also be totally okay with it? What if his 5% is his weird hang-up that has nothing to do with you? Why does he focus on sharing the tiny negative part when I'm guessing you already have a surplus of negative feelings and beliefs about yourself?

I also want to say that for me, I have grown out of some of the more puzzling attachment-related things I used to need. They're not behaviors that are part of my adult life or coping skills but rather remnants of me trying to fulfill unmet needs. So I think it's more helpful to focus on the underlying emotions and to trust that the habits or behaviors will fade away when they aren't necessary anymore.