the only advice people give here is go and see a therapist.

Thats not gonna fly in your case i dont reckon. I think more people need to confront the issues that puzzle them and leave them wondering. Too many people are happy to walk away from the things that hurt them. I think you just have a deep need to find out what it is about your relationships that hurt you or cause the breakdown so you can stop it from happening.

But all the hype on personality disorders is making you believe that its ... well ... a disorder.