Also, helps to know you've grown out of some attachment things. I was telling T yesterday that, it may not seem this way to him, but I feel less of a need to "test" him compared to ex-MC--and I was still testing ex-MC like 4 years in (it's been a year with current T). I tried to tell him before that the stone (or I guess looking at pictures) is a way of coping without actually reaching out to him. And I feel like it's sort of a step in right direction, compared to needing him to reassure me. Like if I can hold a stone or look at his pic for a bit, as compared to emailing him to be like, "Are things still OK?" (Or even anything, just to get response), that seems like progress to me.