((((((((((((((((((((((Kiya))))))))))))))))))))))))) Please don't be so hard on yourself. You have seen the results of trying before and will again. It takes time to replace these coping skills and there are setbacks at times. But you have had success and they will continue. Maybe you can just do it one step at a time. I am sorry that you are struggling so much. Know I am here and I care.

BB