He definitely NEEDS a job to keep his attention off of controlling you.

Maybe could suggest some volunteer work he could get seriously involved in.

I understand not wanting to throw in the towel but find something to help. I doubt that with his controlling personality (it was there from the beginning just distracted by his work) that he would be interested in marriage therapy but you might suggest it if he really wants the marriage to continue. I sure wouldn't let it continue like it is but I have no tolerance for being controlled.

you really can't MAKE anyone see anything if they don't want to. Doing something that will make him want to may work or it might backfire & make him want to be more controlling. Hard to say not knowing his personality.

I actually left my H after 33 years. I was separated from him for 11 years (2100 miles away) before finally getting my divorce this week. My issues were mostly financial but lack of being capable of emotional connection added into that causing major problems that just could NOT be resolved even with therapy. He was mentally incapable of making the changes needed to make the marriage work. I hid out in getting my degree & my career for 19 of the 33 years. The last 13 years I was financially trapped & couldn't get out....looking back it was a time that was proving just how bad things were though I wasn't consciously aware if it at the time. Didn't see the big picture till I left.

Sometimes a period of separation can be a wake up call to them if they want it to be or are capable of making it be that. Sometimes it reinforces that divorce is really the right next step.