This is abusive behavior. He is way out of control and is overstepping many boundaries. He has no right to tell you what to wear, or where to wear it, or to be friending your male colleagues, stalking you on FB and demanding to know who you're texting. This goes beyond just control issues -- he is overly insecure and overly possessive, which describes the abusive personality.

He may be too far gone for therapy to help. 33 years is a very long time but you don't need to be putting up with this atrocious behavior from him. IF you want to try and salvage it, the only solution WOULD be couples therapy, but even then, he may not be able to make drastic changes. I would start drawing the line and telling him that his behavior is entirely unacceptable to you and that there needs to be drastic changes or else the marriage is in serious trouble.

Also, I wonder how much he was like this before he lost his job, but it just worsened after losing his job? People don't just suddenly become abusive out of the blue. Usually there are hints of it along the way, and sometimes, very subtle hints.