He doesn't want anything to do with me, at least not how I'd want it. Yet, he's almost all I care to think about. Hearts don't break even, I hate that song but **** me if it isn't right. He's getting better and moving on while I'm stuck ruminating about the whole situation.

I'd still kill for him, I'd die for him.... I'd do anything. I still love him so ****ing much. But how could anyone really love me? I mean, I'm disgusting looking, I'm a mental health nightmare and I can't support my own damn self. I know I'm the reason we couldn't work out. I know I'm the spark that ignited the flame, the flame that burned five ****ing years to the ground. I wish my love could disappear like his did. I wish I just didn't care.