Hi, tymell, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).

Your situation does sound worrisome, especially since your therapist is seeing you for free because it's inconvenient for him to use the system. If you can't afford to move, you can't afford to move. I don't know that he has done that much for you if you have been seeing him 13 years and are still that dependent on him and don't feel that much better? I saw my therapist 9 years but we worked together and resolved my problems for which I was seeing her. My therapist said I was a "shell" when she first met me but it isn't just emotions and feelings that matter, you have to be able to live.

I would get a clinic/social work help and see if you cannot get some behavioral help. I know some of Maryland's counties have therapists that will come to your home if you're on disability, I would see if your county in NJ does? Check your State site and all resources again; if you have been seeing this guy for 13 years, things have probably changed enormously since you began. I wouldn't move, I would do something "different" and see if you cannot improve your condition from where you are.