Well I did not kill myself cause I am right here. Ya, I messed up with the laxatives. And I have been trying to compensate for it by drinking as much as possible. Anytime I "run" to the washroom, I drink as much as I can. Which I think has been a great deal.

I was not trying to kill myself just like any other SI struggles. Punishing myself: yes, but for what is the mystery. And I have run out of laxatives and refuse to buy any more. Its too easy to take them, so I just won't have them to access so easily. But not that it will make a difference at this point. I am being forced into the hospital. Just not sure when.

Justy