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Old Aug 24, 2018, 10:42 PM
blackocean blackocean is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 244
I don't know what happened to my previous comment here as it never showed up.

Basically, I am not at all upset with my therapist for this and don't really care to bring it up with him, but I can't tell if he finds me endearing or is mocking me? It makes me feel like a little girl because, as I said, it is the kind of chuckle-laugh you might have to yourself when a kid has done something cute or silly, but I am in my thirties, so. Some examples:

--sometimes when he is telling me something I say "yeah" or "okay," which admittedly isn't very engaging but I am a little awkward and weird, and when I do this he laughs to himself for a bit, and when I ask "What? What are you laughing about?" he says something like, "You say 'okay' like you want me to to shut up" or "to get me to shut up." Or one time he mimicked my "yeah" back at me.

--another time he was telling me to try writing about an experience and explaining how I might approach it and I think I said "okay," and he stopped in the middle of explaining and started laughing to himself and said "You aren't going to do it."

--I am pretty much dead inside at this point and have a flat affect, so I can be pretty deadpan, and I think sometimes he is laughing at my deadpanning. I don't mean to be but I can't help it, because dead. So for example, one time I was telling him about my high school friends doing coke and heroin, and he asked me why I never did that too, and I said "Well, it seems unpleasant." I wasn't being sarcastic or anything, but he chuckled to himself.

He's done it more than that, but those are the more recent ones I remember.