My therapist fully gets and shares my sense of humour which, until this very second, I didn't identify as one of the most valuable elements of our relationship. I would feel (and have felt) a sinking sense of futility, disconnect and boredom with a therapist who didn't at least smile at the right times.

That said, she won't laugh if she thinks I'm being too self-deprecating. Sometimes I'm like "come on, that was pretty funny!" She's abridged her former long response in these situations to just "compassion," like she's sparing us both the speech. Sometimes I pre-empt her "oh wait, let me guess, you think that I should have compassion for my younger self?" and she'll smile at that. I'm allowed to make fun of her a little too.

A lot of our exchanges are very similar to what you describe Black Ocean. She'll suggest something and I'll unenthusiastically say "yeah" and she'll see that I just don't have it in me to follow that suggestion and chuckle. But I see it as her laughing at herself for being out of step.

Like sure it would be fantastic to "have more fun" but realistically my life is a shytshow at the moment and that is a totally freaking unhelpful suggestion. So I'll say "yeah" as shorthand for "I really have no interest in continuing this unproductive conversation about The Positive Change I Just Can't Make." She'll see the error in her ways and smile or chuckle, which I will see as her laughing at herself and possibly at the absurdity of my situation (we've desperation-laughed at this together so it's okay) but not as mocking me.