For some time, my boyfriend was depressed and I am sad to say that I did not understand the depth of his depression until about two month ago. He always was cheerful around me, but I noticed that when he went home, his mood dropped.

In the early Winter, he asked to move in which I agreed, but honestly with reservations. I started a plan (longer periods with me) but that was interrupted by his home responsibilities and my mom’s heath; I went to Florida with my Mom for a wedding, and during that time, I decided to accelerate his moving in as both of our restraints were mostly gone.
On my return is when I noticed the depths of his depression -- at times classic leaden, but again after a day with me, he seemed much, much better.

We were taking actions for him to move in to moving in, when last week he told me he need to talk about it because he felt he was using me (financially) and fears of our future because I am older.
Well, the “talk” was that he could not move in with me. The night before, he mentioned going out with a friend (he did not have many friends here as he is from South America expect) and the way he talked, it was not big deal and I was happy for him.

So, Monday afternoon I visit him thinking we need to work out our moving in and the next day I am dumped, although we did not talk about the “friend” and quite frankly, I did not want to.

He says he loves me but cannot see me anymore; I must assume this new “friend” is not platonic.

I love him and I am really concerned about him. He has a lot of issues and to be frank I feel that I did not offer the correct support including urging him more to employment and to seek counseling (which he always refused).

I am also deeply concerned for him and that he is just running from his issues, as this guy literally came out of nowhere and I was stunned.


However, I am hurt and angry for what he did - I don’t know what to do.
I appreciate any advice.

Jude

PS, there is a lot more to this that I need to get off my chest including I now fell very, very guilty for being an enabler. I will ultimately be ok. During all this, I realized that he is a textbook "immature-dependent" and without this won't end well for him. He is 28, unemployed and could be throwing his life away.