Sorry. Days have been hard lately, so I'm not responding much though I do read the posts here.

I ran again today a lot and then walked more. Don't know if this was to make up for lack of exercise most of the week, even punish myself. I suppose when you think about it, even overexercising (especially if you can't eat enough to compensate for it) is in its own way self-harm, at least definitely when you do not need to lose weight.

I've been having to take low dose Seroquel for long anxiety/panic attacks. Some days it makes me sleepy, others not.

I did manage to clear most of my pantry of expired food. Still have the refrigerator (especially the freezer, but that is maybe another day). I am of the hope this may help some with cooking, but I hate cooking & meal planning and then having to plan meals around the food I already own. It feels impossible.

I did find I am less prone to impulse shopping if I do the curbside pickup shopping (always free at Super Wal-mart and free at HEB (food chain store in TX) Tuesday through Friday. Though of course, I think you have to have a $30 minimum, but groceries add up fast. Monday, I think I'm going to call the city. We are out of trash bags (the city delivers a certain amount per residency free for the year), but I think I read on NextDoor you could buy them from the city as well, and they are a lot cheaper than using store bought bags and sturdy too. I'll have to see.

My husband and I decided substitute teaching is not the best decision for me right now. He was again contacted by Lamar University in Beaumont (the Mechanical Engineering Dept.) saying they want to hire him, but it won't be until the Spring semester starts in January. Don't know whether to believe them or not, but the department was re-organized, a "problem" professor moved out of the department and into an area which while, on paper is a promotion, now gives him no power in the department. Other professors who want my husband on board all moved upwards in the department. So...maybe some hope? But they promised as late as June this summer, and then nothing happened. So we'll see. At least, it's got my husband in a better mood.

My daughter seems to be sleeping better which seems to be helping her moods, though she always knows just how to push my buttons.

I am still anxious though. We will hardly have money to make it through to January and probably will have to beg my father-in-law for what little he can spare and maybe one of my aunts who took early retirement from a very high paying corporate job (though she has never helped us financially in the past, but we haven't asked either). Not to mention, December is an expensive month. Not only is there Christmas, but my daughter's birthday is Dec. 14. Plus, her school has a Santa Shop to which the kids bring money to buy gifts for relatives. I used to give my daughter the money for that, but this year, I might have to tell her to take it out of her own money.