Yeah I think you are right sky. I know my doctor has told me before that I am still full of adrenaline from when I was assaulted. I rock all of the time now and things like that as well. I am always in fight or flight mode and I can feel that. I do wonder if that is the cause of all these problems. I really didn't have these problems before the assault. I had so many probelems withh all of that and well your right I have been through so much the last year. I did move out of the assisted living too in October. I now live on my own. I have moved a few times but I like where I am at now. I am afraid that it won't last though. I am starting to struggle and things too. I think my depression is getting worse the last few weeks and I have started switching more again, that really scares me. I have also been really impulsive and compulsive at the same time too, that's not a good combination. I don't know what to do. I am just trying to make it through. I will keep fighting until the end but it's going to be hard and I am going to get tired like I am. I have a long road ahead of me I think and well I think I am just working so hard that I get a little worn down sometimes. Well thank you so much for your comment, both of you. I feel so much better when people respond to my posts it helps me see that there are people out there who do care. So thank you.