I grew up in Calif too with parents who showed no affection & when they tried I was so embarrassed by them (beyond normal kid embarassment) that I didn't want anyone to know they were my parents.

Then I ended up in a marriage with a guy that was exactly like my parents.

I always wondered if that was all there was to relationships but thought what I experienced must be normal.

After leaving my H after 33 years.....finally I moved to a whole new small town & experienced what real caring relstionships are like. It took me several years & a lot of therapy to process my past & a lot of patient friends but I have finally learned how mostly to connect with others though I have chosen to stay single.....it was a huge start just learning how to connect at a REAL level with other people.

I do know what you mean