I like that article, AY. Thanks for sharing it. Toward the end, where Polly talks about having an open heart, I was reminded that my therapist often comes back to that same thing, which I always dismiss. To have self compassion, to soften toward myself, to cultivate an open heart. It all seems counter intuitive to living in a dangerous world full of predatory types, but she seems to think that having an open heart will make life safer for me. I'm not sure how that works, but maybe she means that I will go around feeling and acting less threatened and not be such a negativity magnet.

All of that is not exactly what you are asking about with social anxiety, gc, but maybe it's along the same lines? If so, then I think therapy can help by continuing to circle around and in toward these core issues of identity, self worth and compassion.

The other things--what I call busy work--volunteering, joining groups, etc--is another approach and can work for some. Or both, together, can help get things unstuck. But honestly, I think it's mostly an inside job that, when progress is made internally, the outside relationships more naturally happen.