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Old Aug 26, 2018, 11:08 PM
blackocean blackocean is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 244
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0 View Post
I don't see any dependency in proper therapy, as addiction as a concept is applicable only when there is harm involved. And I reserve exploitation, which does happen in therapy, to financial (as in hey client, give me a loan or join me in this business venture) or to sexual. A person who pays for a service is not being exploited, as long as they get what they pay for.

I think the person who needs emotional attention is an ordinary human being. Nothing wrong with seeking the attention of a therapist for a therapy session and the people who have no to little emotional support elsewhere perhaps are those who need it the most. If the therapy is not harmful to the person-- if they are not scraping together their last pennies and starving their children so they can afford therapy, if they are not suffering as a result of it-- I don't see how that is "addiction" even if you assume that the emotional attention is all the person gets. Otherwise I'm addicted to fresh watermelon and swimming laps in the pool. In my world, people are supposed to do what feels good to them, whether they pay for therapy or sacro-cranial massage or an eyeshadow set. If someone is enjoying the attention that is obviously a part of therapy and forming a social connection that may help them generate that in real life, that's good in my book. Much better that the suffering caused by being alone, being institutionalized in a mental health hospital that is hardly different from a prison, or a mentally ill person ending up in jails and prisons.

I don't believe in the concept of addition to therapy unless the client is being harmed by it. I don't doubt that some people are harmed by therapy and that addiction is some form might keep them there. If they really can't afford it but are addicted, or if their lives are suffering in any other way by going to therapy, then I hope they can find a way out. I guess I feel pretty confident that most adult people in therapy can decided for themselves whether it works and can stop if they feel they don't benefit from it. I don't think anyone else can judge whether someone else's therapy works for them.

But if people are going to therapy and it benefits them in whatever way makes sense to them, I hope they continue to use it. It's actually rational to do things that make you feel good, so I keep buying local watermelon and using my pool pass. And going to therapy, and the mere fact that I keep going to therapy is not evidence of my addiction, but proof that I am taking the best care of myself that I can.
I think it often does happen in proper therapy for certain clients because of the one-sided nature of the relationship. I guess I'm just talking as someone this thing continually happens to. I keep being targeted by predators for my emotional vulnerability and neglect and the 'need' I felt for them as they groomed me is feeling a little like the 'need' I am now already experiencing for my therapist after only several months of him showing emotional attention to me. This kind of dependency has pathological origin -- the reason it happens is one reason why the patient is in therapy in the first place -- and good therapists anticipate this happening, know this and work through this with the intensely attached client, while bad therapists don't work on it or maybe understand it (causing harm accidentally), and a few predatory therapists exploit it by cultivating a sexual or otherwise exploitative relationship. You know that your emotional connection is becoming dependent, rather than simply warm and comforting, when you experience agony during the week apart or during short breaks and find yourself unable to function without the therapist. That's addiction -- you don't find yourself unable to function if you don't get to eat watermelon for a couple weeks. Or if someone who once held your hand has decided to stop holding it, dangling the carrot and then pulling back. I'm not talking about simply looking forward to therapy because it is a highlight of your week or because you enjoy your therapist's company and attention, but about an intense feeling of need that interferes with your ability to live your life outside of therapy. And to be clear I don't think there is any shame in this, it happens to me, but it isn't healthy -- it's a sign of unhealthy attachment patterns that need working through.
Thanks for this!
Anonymous45127, koru_kiwi