Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise
my first thought is your question asking .........us...... whether you should change your facebook settings or leave facebook....
you just got out of an abusive relationship where you can now make your own decisions and whats happening you are asking others to make your decision for you...
yea making your own life is hard after someone has been in control huh. you have finally taken a big step for your health safety and well being. its now time to take the next step and you be in control of what ..........you......... want to do.
let me show you something.... if I say change your settings and something happens are you going top hold me responsible? if I tell you to get off facebook are you going to hold me responsible for your leaving?
yea its easy to make others the bad guy, ask others what to do and then what ever happens you cant say you made the decision yourself, you could blame who ever on psych central that told you to do it.
sorry so sorry but Im not going to be this fall guy. you have made a great leap for yourself and Im not going to deminish that leap by telling you what to do now.
if you want to stay or leave facebook thats your decision.
if you want to reset your settings or leave them alone thats your decision.
if you are asking how my own facebook settings are and whether I leave facebook any time something happens.... my answer is I have a few facebook accounts..... personal (friends and family), work related,.... I set each of these settings for what I want them to be at given what the accounts are for. Yes sometimes I do take breaks but its no reflection on others that are on facebook. I determine when I need breaks based on how I am feeling that day.
my suggestion is now that you are free, dont hop back into the frying pan of letting others be in control of you physically or emotionally. take time to breath and decide what ..............you ..............want to do and need to do for ........You.
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Thank you. You have no idea how often I need to hear this and have been told this over the last two months or so. I actually have a hard time trusting people who won't tell me what to do. I feel validated when I'm told (it's very odd for me when people tell me it's my decision and respect that I'm a person with a mind of my own). I'm learning to have a mind of my own, thank God, but I definitely still need significant recovery from constantly searching for a "rescuer."
I'm swayed by the opinions and thoughts of others A LOT and just...MY thoughts...is difficult. If you haven't noticed I even started copying the way you wrote your reply. I guess that's due to my childhood coping mechanism of being the "perfect" easy going child.
I tend to hold no one responsible but myself. It turns into self loathing, suicidal ideation, and feeling like I'ma moral failure. So, in short, no I wouldn't blame you. I would find some way to blame myself.
And what is it that I'm thinking while I read your reply..."Maybe you're right. But that still doesn't tell me what to do." "Did I say or do something wrong?" I'm a failure and I shouldn't have asked...and now I want to cry."
That is the dialogue in my head at rapid speed. It's like I'm totally disarmed. You're advice got me a little teary-eyed. I almost don't know what to do with that even though I hear it repeatedly now. What do I want to do? Good question.
I guess now I have something to think about? I don't know.